Six Sentence Sunday

14

This week in Six Sentence Sunday, 14-year-old George is found by the members of Violet’s household. Sunny, however, has run off to cause more trouble.

***

George lay on the floor, breathing shallowly as blood ran down his face, with deep claw marks on the left side of his face. Sunny meanwhile was nowhere to be found.

“Look what that damn primate did this time!” Violet yelled at Ainsworth. “Yeah, your nephew ain’t that tall, assertive, or masculine, but he does have a handsome face that might be ruined!”

“Who cares how attractive you think he is!” Rose yelled. “George could’ve been killed regardless!”

Six Sentence Sunday

5

This week’s installment for Six Sentence Sunday continues “Sunny’s Last Dance.” Violet’s daughter Rose has discovered the whereabouts of the missing engagement ring, and while Violet’s elderly mother Madeline thinks it’s hysterical, Violet is furious. (Caecilians, the animals Rose’s son Jerod keeps as pets, are aquatic amphibians that rather resemble large worms.)

***

Rose had discovered Sunny rubbing himself against Mike’s stuffed tiger and had tried to shoo him out of the room. Then Keith and Mike had come running to tell her that Sunny had gone to the bathroom in Jerod’s caecilian tank and that they were afraid the amphibians would eat the sparkly rock that had rattled into the tank as Sunny had been doing his business. Full of a foretaste of dread, Rose had rushed into Jerod and Jesse’s room and now stood by the tank with a hysterical Violet and highly amused Madeline.

“There are still five of them, so thankfully he didn’t eat or kill any.”

“But look what he did eat!” Violet shouted. “My engagement ring!”

Why I love Kit

1

Kit has long been among my favorite of my Atlantic City characters from both my original generation and altogether. She loses none of her vim, vigor, and sex drive as she ages, and her rivalry with Violet is great continuity over the years. If they’d put aside their differences and become pals when they got older, that would’ve been extremely boring and taken away something vital from their relationship, similar to how I was told (some years after I stopped watching soaps) that Jill on The Young and the Restless found out Katherine is her birthmother and they suddenly became all peachy. Seriously, who in his or her right mind makes decades-long rivals best buddies overnight like that? Complete writing fail!

This is from Part XLI of Cinnimin, “Valentine and Ajax,” set between 17 May-23 August 1991. Violet is bemused enough by how her grandkids by Rose are becoming more and more hippie and frugal by the day, but when Kit’s pet grandchild ticks her off, she soon finds a whole new can of worms opening up.

***

Karyn, Perseus, and Crystal got a smaller ceremony for graduating elementary school. Violet wept to see her oldest granddaughter wearing a dress from Goodwill, albeit a very nice dress that didn’t fit the stereotype of used clothes. She was already losing sleep since Rose had announced her plans to have a waterbirth for her seventh child.

“I bet you give this one a nasty hippie name, like Liberty, Fearless, or Remember.”

“Is that any worse than your baby sister’s name?”

“You are! I’m gonna have a grandkid named Freedom!”

Violet was helpless to prevent Crystal from wearing her secondhand dress to Karyn’s bat mitzvah that evening and the next day. All the other girls were wearing expensive designer gowns. She hid her face as Kit proudly introduced everyone to her nine British grandkids and had young Charles show off for the guests with a song and tapdance.

“And this tiny one is Xanthe Marpessa Burgess-Green.”

“Is that a name?” Violet scowled.

“Don’t be mean. My cousin Xanthe is beautiful.” Pete Newmark, Patsy’s boy, kicked Violet in the leg.

“Who is this devil? Don’t you know I am a Hitchcock? I am worth more money than your grandma will ever be!” Violet kicked him back irately.

A moment of stunned silence followed. Then Kit scooped up her cherubic-looking grandson and cuddled and kissed him before storming toward Violet, her enemy since childhood. Her jade eyes flashed in fury. Peter prayed she wouldn’t embarrass herself.

“How dare you hurt my favorite grandchild! You only wish such an angelic-looking kid could spring from your line! This boy is named after the love of my life, Peter Cunningham!”

“You mean it wasn’t Haakon? After he took your virginity?”

“Grandma, you were with someone besides Rob and Grandpa?” Karyn asked in shock.

“Thirty-two sexual partners total. I’ll tell you all the lurid details anytime you want.”

“Hasn’t your feud gone on long enough?”

Kit shot Jesse a look that shut him up instantly.

Mr. Green came into the room carrying an armload of presents. “What’s this commotion?”

“That bitch kicked me,” Pete tattled.

Violet’s jaw dropped. “How the hell old is this kid?”

“Two years, nine months, one week, and five days. He picks up the foul language from his adoring grandma.”

“You are so disgusting. I bet this devil takes after you in everything, like sleeping around, getting venereal diseases, disrespecting everyone—”

“You had a venereal disease, Grandma?” Daphne asked.

“When I was twelve I caught chlamydia. I found out five months later at age thirteen.”

“Has young master Peter gotten himself into trouble again?” Owen laughed as he came downstairs.

“You mean he does this often?” Violet demanded in outrage.

“He was defending baby Xanthe’s honor against this evil bitch here and she up and maliciously kicked him.”

“You psychotic bitch.” Owen took Pete from his mother-in-law. “Never come near him again.”

“That brat kicked me first!”

“You’re sixty years old, bitch. Act like it.” Kit turned back to Xanthe.