WeWriWa—Thick tensions


Welcome back to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday, weekly Sunday hops where writers share 8–10 sentences from a book or WIP. This week’s snippet immediately follows last week’s, when the seven remaining young men in a group of friends from Abony, Hungary were encamped by the Bohemian Forest in late February 1945.

Tensions among them have been running higher and higher since they left the mining camp Jawischowitz about a month ago. Four of the boys are determined to survive, while the other three have completely given up hope and turned on their friends.


View from Boubínský Prales, the specific location of the scene. Copyright Chmee2

Emánuel coughed his deep, hacking cough. “When we’re free, we can discuss all the reasons for this mass madness in detail.  There are so many complex reasons behind it, which didn’t arise overnight or in a vacuum.  I’m more than guilty of being a terrified bystander too.  I was too afraid to fight back or disobey those hateful laws, and now look what’s happened to us.”

Ágoston sneered at him. “You’re still talking like some pampered intellectual sitting in his ivory tower, out of touch with reality!  You should care more about a slice of bread and better shoes than abstract psychological theories!”


Emánuel Karfinkel wasn’t originally slated to survive, but I came to realize I’d killed off WAY too many people for no other reason than to try to drive home the devastating impact of the Shoah in Hungary. I also wanted to show cruel reality in contrast to the miraculous survival and escapes of almost all of my Polish characters.

After I took this book out of hiatus and turned an unrealistically long monologue into a flashback Part II (modelled after the flashback chapters in Leon Uris’s Exodus, which are an integral part of the narrative), I decided to save more people. I always had a soft spot for Emánuel, and wanted him to live. To keep the main narrative focused on the original core cast, the characters I rescued survive separately, and don’t immediately link back up with the others.

Emánuel was on track to go to the Liszt Academy in Budapest, and dreams of playing violin in a national symphony orchestra someday. Since working in a coal mine for several months, he’s picked up a cough his friends suspect is tuberculosis or another lung disease.


15 comments on “WeWriWa—Thick tensions

  1. Ed Hoornaert says:

    One of the fascinating benefits of writing is the ability to save characters we’ve come to love. In my first science fiction book, I built sexual tension between my protrags — and then, in a rejection of writing for Harlequin, the hero died saving the heroine. But I wimped out; he becomes ‘alive’ in her mind, and remained a character throughout the trilogy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject says:

    Wow, I can feel the tension between them. Great snippet! And since we’re the authors, we do get to decide who lives and dies, the difference between fiction and reality. Though, I’m sure your story shows the reality of the situation in different ways.


  3. Interesting debate they’re having – seems like each side has some of it ‘right’, but there really is no one answer.


  4. Great snip. Love the conflict between the characters and the rude, practical awakening he’s probably in for.


  5. I worry about his cough- but you can keep him alive!


  6. Wow–what an exchange. I have to say, I hope they strike a balance, because neither is wrong, but neither is completely right, either. Great snippet, Carrie-Anne. 🙂


  7. Great snippet–I love the dialogue and I can hear the hacking cough.


  8. Yes – realistic conversation plus the worrying cough.


  9. Diane Burton says:

    Please don’t kill off a character the reader has come to love. The realism of the situation is shown by what he’s going through and his friends dying. I’m afraid that cough is going to get worse.


  10. Jenna Jaxon says:

    Yes, that cough doesn’t sound good, but he could pull through. Their discussion seems sort of odd, considering where they are. Leave such discussions until you have gotten to safety!


  11. Wonder what’s up with his cough. The argument probably doesn’t help either. A lot of drama here.


  12. First worry about food, then philosophy. Good idea.


  13. They both make great points, but food comes first. Great snippet!


  14. P.T. Wyant says:

    Worry about food if there is food available. But if there isn’t, turn your mind to other things…


  15. Sounds like these two are going to end up in a brawl. I have to agree with him a bit though, food and shelter should be first priorities. And if you can’t obtain that then making plans or finding a way to take your mind off your predicament.


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