Warning: Any hateful, threatening, abusive comments will be deleted and the commenters blacklisted. Unlike the echo chambers on Reddit, Tumblr, and YouTube, this series provides a skeptical examination of an increasingly concerning, cult-like narrative. None of these posts are meant to cast shade on normal, good people just living their lives. My concerns are the vulnerable young people and the extremist leaders of this movement.
I’m a big believer in the “You do you” philosophy, so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I’m totally cool with drag queens (like the legendary RuPaul), gender-bending men (like the late David Bowie), men who wear makeup and stereotypically female clothes (just about all Eighties New Wave bands!). I never would’ve become a Duranie five years ago if I were repulsed by men in makeup and “girly” clothes, with styled hair. I even sleep under a framed poster of the band in their New Wave period, and have a pin from the same era on one of my purse straps. Hell, I’m most attracted to pretty-looking men who are more stereotypically feminine than masculine, since I’m more stereotypically masculine than feminine! It’s Daryl Bem’s Exotic Becomes Erotic Theory.
An autogynephile (AGP) is a man with a fetish for dressing like a stereotypical woman and being thought of as a woman (not to be confused with a genuine transsexual). If you get your rocks off from dressing up like a woman, either publicly or in private, rock on. But don’t confuse fantasy and reality, and don’t railroad over everyone else to get on your kink on. Buy your own damn clothes; don’t sneak into your underage daughters’ room at night to steal their underwear (coughbrucejennercough). Don’t wear your wife or mother’s clothes when she’s out of the house.
Above all, don’t deceive people about your identity or act like you’re more of a woman than actual women.
So many of these AGPs carry on about how “This is all woman,” when they’re so obviously men in drag. They also get off from asking people how well they pass, and being told (often against obvious evidence) they look like such sexy, beautiful, natal women. Screw you for saying you’re more of a real woman than biological women!
It gets even better. AGPs rant about how gender-nonconforming women like myself are exercising “cis privilege” (ugh) and oppressing them by not wearing makeup, bikinis, and high heels, not always wearing dresses and skirts, having short hair, choosing to be single instead of hyper-sexual (which, for many of them, sadly includes prostitution), and basically not looking like the unrealistic women in most mainstream porn. We’re making it harder for them to pass by not wearing “a woman’s uniform” and blurring the lines between the sexes. If a woman wears pants, doesn’t have waist-length bleached blonde hair, and wears no makeup, how will anyone know they’re “real” women?
Many of these modern-day AGPs also stimulate periods, pretend they’re having menstrual cramps or even bleeding every month, go for cervical cancer screenings when they don’t even freaking have a cervix (thus wasting their money and the time the doctor could’ve spent screening actual women), fake pregnancy and carry around those creepy dolls who look like real babies, all this ridiculous stuff which was considered a sign of mental illness not all that long ago.
It’s normal to have convert’s zeal in your early days in a new identity, like joining a new religion or moving to another country. Once you’re more established and secure in your new identity, the convert’s zeal tapers off and you find a new normal which works for you. That doesn’t happen with most AGPs after surgery. They bathe themselves in pink, perfume, and makeup, wear high heels all the time, wear clothes they think men will find sexy, grow very long hair, wear bikinis and Victoria’s Secret, develop skinny figures, you name it. I hate pink, wear a modest bathing suit with a skirt attached, have multiple-pierced ears instead of the traditional one per ear, can only wear block and wedge heels, and rarely wear makeup. Somehow I’m still a real woman!
The AGP campaign to deny biological reality and force themselves into women’s safe spaces will be covered in Parts VIII and IX.