Top 10 Tuesday is a weekly feature of The Broke and the Bookish. A full list of instructions and future themes can be found here. This week’s topic is Ten Books I Will Probably Never Read.
1. Fifty Shades of Grey. Nope, not interested in the romanticised portrayal of a clearly, disturbingly abusive relationship and a completely inaccurate depiction of true BDSM. I also hate how Ms. James just had to use my all-time favouritest female name, Anastasia, on the protagonist. If I’m ever blessed with a daughter, I’m going to name her Anastasiya, and of course use the proper Russian pronunciation, Ah-nah-STAH-see-yah.
2. Twilight. Yeah, that is never gonna happen. I’m so embarrassed my own parents ate this nonsense up, and don’t see it as anti-woman, creepy, poorly-written, any of the things it’s so often called out as.
3. Das Kapital. I did try to read this twice at 15, but only got as far as page 80 the second time. I really can’t ever see myself trying again as an adult. I’m told even a lot of serious Marxists only have this volume of sheer boredom on their shelves to point to as evidence of their convictions. No one wants to read this!
4. The Wealth of Nations, by Adam Smith. The opposite side of the coin is never gonna happen either. I don’t care what kind of economic philosophy it espouses; I’m not interested in reading any long, boring economic treatise!
5. The Harry Potter franchise. I never understood all the hype, and in fact have always been turned off by all the hype and squeeing. People act like you’re a kitten-killer if you admit you’ve never read these books and have zero interest. I’d sooner crack and finally attempt LOTR or try a third time to finish The Hobbit! At least those books have proven themselves with staying power past a single generation.
6. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, by John Boyne. Way to make a complete mockery out of the Shoah. I was sick to my stomach enough the two times I watched Life Is Beautiful, which should’ve been titled Ernest Goes to a Concentration-Camp. If you’re going to depict something unusual, like a young child in a camp, at least make it within the realm of plausibility instead of so ridiculously beyond any sort of believable scenario that could’ve come together under specific circumstances.
7. Fragments, by Binjamin Wilkomirski. Yet another offensive, ridiculous depiction of what happened during the Shoah. At least Mr. Boyne’s book, as offensive and ridiculous as it is, is meant as fiction. Mr. Wilkomirski pretended his book was a memoir, and then was famously exposed as a liar and fraud.
8. Anything by Geoffrey Giuliano. Even Albert Goldman’s sleazy “biographies” aren’t as disgusting and full of lies as Mr. Giuliano’s, which is saying quite a lot.
9. Anything else by Albert Goldman. After finding out The Lives of John Lennon, which I absolutely loved at 14, was full of lies and slander, with precious few facts, I was so disgusted and disillusioned. It’s no surprise to discover Mr. Goldman’s other “biographies” are just as excoriated.
10. The Hunger Games franchise. Again, yet another massively overhyped book I just don’t see the big deal over. It also was apparently responsible for a certain trend I really, really dislike, a writing style which now something like 90% of all YA writers are absolutely convinced they NEED to use. I’m also very annoyed at how people now associate the term dystopia with post-apocalyptic, instead of a utopia gone creepily wrong. And for that matter, I also can’t see myself ever reading the Divergent franchise either.